The Back-Burner Blog

During my odd spare hour in the evening, when I generally write the blog, I’ve had to take up television watching. I’m not a great fan but perhaps a healthy scepticism is what they want. You see, the TES (‘Times Educational Supplement’) have asked me to write a weekly TV review column- as irreverent as I can make it.

Don’t worry- it’s going in the magazine so nobody will see it, never mind read it- but don’t tell them that. I’ve always wanted to be a real writer so who knows? From blog to broadsheet?

So here’s an edited (had to cut the adult jokes) version of week one, Gavin and Stacey. I’ll be doing autographed copies on parents’ evening!

‘Confession time: a terrible fidget like me desperately needs a decent TV fix to keep me in my chair. So, wearying of my Fawlty Towers and Alan Partridge videos, I have just discovered the delights of a new comedy, Gavin and Stacey on BBC 3.

New? How did I miss it the first time round? Was I such a snob that their very names sent me scuttling to switch channels for something uplifting like Simon Schama? Probably, but I also know I snored through every episode of that worthy history programme, much as I love the distinguished professor.

Now Monday nights are transformed. Dishwasher stacked and feet up by nine o’clock, I have to be on the sofa and ready for the charms of Alison Steadman, playing Gavin’s phoney vegetarian mum, whose overbearing bosoms match her bossiness.

I still remember Steadman as the pure, virginal, dandelion-eating, green prototype, Candice Marie in Mike Leigh’s 70’s TV play, Nuts in May. Candice was a vegetarian in the days when it was deeply unfashionable. The programme was even screened in black and white. How old does that make me? It pre-dated Abigail’s Party- in which she was the jarring hostess, Beverley, the part she now seems to be reprising.
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I watched the stag night and wedding episodes with lap top in one hand and whisky glass (I have a bad head cold so you can feel sorry for me) in another, desperately trying to catch up on the three thousand emails in my in-box. I told you I was a fidget. But who said men can’t multi-task?

Smithy and his mates remind me of some of the teenagers in my school. In fact it’s the only way I can begin to understand what many of them are saying to me. It’s so useful to know, for example, that his use of ‘shit-faced’ is youth culture colloquial. Now I might not need to exclude so many students for swearing.

Stacey’s uncle, brilliantly portrayed by Bob Brydon, reminds me of my Chair of Governors. His childlike belief in the accuracy of his Sat Nav (‘Let me just show you how it works, Gavin’) reminds me of my Chair of Governors’ fixation with School Performance Tables. Sad, isn’t it?

So, I’m with Gavin and Stacey during the proposal, engagement and marriage. Who cares if I’ve accidently deleted all those emails? For this is television that will remain new, fresh and hold me in my seat. Fellow fidgets, come and join me in a toast to a great ‘new’ comedy.’

Next week it’s Gordon Rambo Ramsay and plenty of the ‘F’ word. Yes, you’ve guessed it, ‘Fresh!’